NELLXO Backstage: Dear Fridge Thief

That’s it. I’m Suing. Suing who? I have no idea. I’m not suing. But if I were the type of person who ran around suing people, I would sue. I would also sue if you could drag ghosts into court, but you can’t, so I’m screwed. This is complete and utter nonsense. I’m sure it would help you to know what I’m over here ranting and raving about, huh? Well, I just went in my fridge looking for a bottle of kombucha I bought from Trader Joe’s the other day and it’s missing. Poof. Gone. Sayonara. Arrivederci. Peace out. Someone keeps stealing my crap. I’m fed up, I tell you. I’ve got my coffee here, so I’m good and ready for a mini rant.

I am not even kidding you when I say that my snacks and drinks are constantly coming up missing. This was a problem at my last house too. I’d go in the fridge hoping to have a vanilla yogurt—gone! Then I’d have a taste for my Wheat Thins—gone! Even rolls of toilet paper would come up missing. My bestie/roommate even noticed that it was happening. And no, this isn’t like the last time when I thought my tuna salad was missing and found that I’d accidentally abandoned it for two days among the tupperware containers (long story). This is one of those genuine food abductions that continue to occur for reasons beyond my understanding. No one ever comes to my house, yet my stuff is always being moved or “stolen”. The worst part is that the items never pop back up, so I’m not just losing my marbles and inadvertently leaving it in the cabinet next to the glassware or something.

It’s like a giant black hole somehow manages to hide behind my fridge only to creep out at night to inhale everything I want to eat—a black hole that can control what it sucks into itself. No? Not buying it? Well, to whoever (or whatever) keeps swiping my belongings, “KEEP YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF MY STUFF!”

Don’t touch my kombucha.
Don’t touch my yogurt.
Don’t pilfer the Charmin either because that’s simply not yours. Use leaves, napkins, whatever! I don’t care what you wipe yourself with, but it needs not be anything from my house.
Get yourself some coupons.
Get yourself a job.
Do something, but get your own junk from here on out. Your days of the five-finger discount are finito.

*sob* I feel so violated. I’m putting out an Amber alert. Have you seen a brand new bottle of GT Synergy Gingerade anywhere? It had a little glass body with a white top and condensation. Come home, kombucha bottle. Come home.

You really suck, fridge thief. I was looking forward to that.


Weekend Recap

Anyhoo, how was everyone’s Easter weekend? Mine was A-okay.

On Saturday I went out and about to enjoy the beautiful, warm weather…emphasis on “warm”. Unfortunately, I hadn’t checked the weather forecast when I was picking out my outfit, which ended up being the saddest situation in the world. It was cool in the morning, but the temp quickly jacked up to 80 degrees. So there I was rocking a long-sleeved grey sweater, black ponte pants and ankle boots while all the intelligent people of the world had on tank tops, shorts and sandals. FML. Luckily, I didn’t actually become hot until the last store, and by then I was getting ready to head home.

Right out the gate I headed straight to Starbucks. They’d hit me up on the app earlier in the week talking about some milky pink thing with strawberries floating around, to which I had frowned: Pink Drink. Just based on the description I wasn’t entirely impressed, nor was I sure that I would like it. However, the dang thing started stalking me all over the Internet. Everywhere I looked or clicked, there it was. By the time Saturday rolled around I simply had to find out what all this Pink Drink business was about.

When the lady at the drive-thru window asked me if I wanted to upgrade to a Trenta (I’d ambitiously ordered a Venti) it felt like my life flashed before my eyes.

“It’s the weekend, you should treat yourself,” she said through the speaker.

“Hmm. It is the weekend,” I thought, with pensive consideration.

The coffee lover in me was like, “Don’t do it, girl. What if you hate it? What if it’s gross? It’s milky and weird and there’s no caffeine! Eww!” I’m thinking that the coffee loving side of me must have the communication skills and voice of a five-year old girl who thinks boys seriously have cooties. You know, that voice.

I ended up getting the Trenta. It was milky. It was cold. The strawberries were having a party in the cup. It was awesome. I honestly don’t know how to describe the taste at all. I had never tried any of their refresher drinks before (which is one component of the Pink Drink), so I had little frame of reference. It reminds me of a light fruity soda mixed with strawberry milk…kinda. I probably just made it sound like the grossest thing in the world, but I promise it was super unique and delicious. I really like coconut milk, so it was right up my alley. That Trenta was huge too, so it lasted my entire shopping trip.

I went to a few boring places after that and ended up at the pet store. I’m currently scouring the Earth looking for the perfect kitten playmate for Miss Cami (my cat), so I was hoping they’d have some cute ones up for adoption. She also needed some litter and a new collar (she literally destroyed her old one), so I figured why not? They only had two cats, which was lame. Neither was particularly striking, but I hope they find good homes soon. I seriously miss California at times like these. In California, there are free kittens everywhere. But here? Nah. You’d have better luck finding one of the items my fridge thief stole. The kitten search struggle is real. And so the hunt continues.

Next I ended up at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I had way too much fun in there for someone who never liked the place before. My favorite area was the little international foods section. I picked up the cutest Asian sodas. I have no clue which nation they are from (still haven’t checked), but I’m thinking they’ll make the cutest photograph. One was Hello Kitty, so it was imperative that it came home with me. I also found some Bragg’s ACV (curiously hard to find in stores here), body wash and…I have no idea what else. I feel like I got more stuff, but I can’t remember what those things would be so…whatever! I’d actually gone in the store looking for a Kate Spade thingie, but it was nowhere to be found in the whirlwind they call a store. Have you ever noticed how bogged down with stuff that place is? It’s good because there’s a ton of neat stuff to look through, but it’s bad if you’re trying to grab something and scoot.

I headed over to DSW next because…well, because….shoes. I always feel like I don’t own any shoes just like I feel as though I have no clothes, so I’m constantly on the hunt for one kind of shoe or another. Honestly, I have an entire Ikea wardrobe full of shoes. In fact, there’s boxes of shoes that I’ve shoved in my armoire. There’s even more shoes in storage containers beneath my bed. I still have no shoes. More accurately, I don’t have the right kinds of shoes, which is why I went over there looking for a basic, everyday black shoe. Who the heck doesn’t have a basic black shoe? Me. I guess when I recently got rid of a ton of my things I accidentally chucked whatever basic black shoes I had. That’s why I’ve been wearing the heck out of all my black boots even though I need to transition out of fall/winter stuff. In all fairness, it has only recently warmed up enough to warrant the retirement of boots and sweaters. At least I had sense enough to fix the issue, right? I’ll be talking about the shoes I got later though, so let’s move on.

What else did I do? Hmm. I had Olive Garden for dinner that evening, which was amazing. I used to go there all the time with friends back in Cali, but I haven’t been since moving. I missed it, but I don’t eat pasta often anymore. Since I’m giving up beef and pork this week (perhaps forever) I ended up ordering the Steak Gorgonzola Alfredo. That used to be my thing years ago. It was so good, you guys. So good, and so fattening. I was swallowing guilt the entire time, but it was a good send off for beef. I also tried their strawberry lemonade, which was really quite nice as well.

Easter Sunday was quiet like always. I had dinner with the family, made a cute little Easter craft with the cat (stay tuned for that DIY project) and listened to music. The holiday was good, but still a little sad. All holidays are just…not quite the same without my (ex?) fiance. I know, I know. You’re probably thinking, “Ex question mark? Don’t you know if he’s your ex or not?” Uh…well, the thing is…no. I don’t. However, that’s a complicated tale for another time.

What I do know is that this man is my best friend in the entire world. Doing anything, no matter how mundane or trivial it is, without him is just…wrong. Every time I want to be happy or celebrate anything, I just end up being kind of apathetic about it because nothing matters if he’s not here to enjoy it too, you know? Everything I experience automatically gets filtered through the lens of, “Well, he’d feel this way about this” or “He’d just love that”. At this point, I’m just going through the motions of life, unable to really care one way or another how stuff turns out. I mean, I love what I’m currently doing in life and I’m so passionate about it, but still there’s just something missing. It’s very hard to describe.

Tomorrow is his birthday and I’ve been dreading looking at my calendar for weeks. Of course, it’s written on there. I can’t tell him happy birthday to his face (unless a miracle occurs), so I guess I’ll say it here. Happy Birthday, Stevie. I love you and I miss you and I’m sorry. It’s not my fault and it’s not your fault, but I’m still sorry for the both of us. Life can do the most messed up things to the very people who deserve it least, but you’re smart and you’re strong—you’ll beat this eventually. Do your best to forget who you were (or thought you were) last year and focus on who you really are this year. Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t good enough, especially not yourself. I’m still your biggest fan ever, kid. When you’re ready, you know where to find me. -XO

 

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