The Most Nauseating Game Ever??: Eggggg

Video games are my favorite mode of entertainment. I’ve been playing them since I was about five years old, so I will probably continue until my hands are too arthritic to manage a controller. But thanks to virtual reality, I may never have to retire. Though I’m a console girl through and through (Where are all my PS fans out there?), I think mobile games are a great option when you want to pass time and have fun, but you’re away from the couch or PC.

Mobile gaming has come a long, long way—even hardcore gamers have to admit that. Of course, many game connoisseurs still refuse to recognize mobile games as “legitimate gaming”, but there are a lot of game developers out there who are doing a great job delivering quality casual games for casual and serious gamers alike. One such group is the Norway-based developer, Hyper Games. I recently came across their puke-filled platform runner called Eggggg* and have been playing it (and gagging) ever since.

 

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Did I say “puke-filled”? Oh, okay. Yeah, that’s what I meant to say. Just checking. If you are uber squeamish or fear that exposure to crude cartoony humor will degrade your intellect, this is definitely not something you need to read about.  I would hate to be personally responsible for killing any of your brain cells. This world genuinely needs the human species to retain all the intelligence we can.

However, if you’re sitting there thinking, “What are b–br–brain cells?” or you pride yourself in having an ironclad gag reflex, this is the perfect game to play when you’re really supposed to be working. I mean, when you have free time…

…in your cubicle. At work. While you’re supposed to be working.

*FYI—This game review is by no means sponsored. I acquired the game on my own, played the game on my own and decided to rant and rave about it on my own. I’m only sharing it because I like it and I think you might like it. Capiche? 

 


Cutscenes and Stuff

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Meet Gilbert, our young, bucktoothed protagonist. We meet him during the game’s introductory cutscene. It is during this time that we get a speechless, textless idea of what this kid’s problem is. If you ever hope to find out why you’re playing a game about him puking, this is pretty much it.

 

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So, Gilbert’s chilling in his house, looking out the window at another house off in the distance. When I first played the game I had no idea what was going on here. The house is bouncing around with a bunch of balloons flying around it, so I should have probably guessed that there was a party raging inside (because that’s exactly what is happening). In hindsight, I’m thinking that I was more worried about why the house is a cyclops, but you know, that’s just me.

 

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Gilbert totally wants to go to the party. Too bad for him that there’s a bushy haired, freakishly long-armed chick basically telling him, “Oh heck, no! You’re staying here. No loud music and red cups for you, buddy.”

I originally thought this character was just a super unfortunate looking little girl (a sister maybe), but it turns out that it’s his mean, (still) unfortunate looking aunt named Doris. This family is just full of lookers, huh?

 

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Well, Gilbert wasn’t having any of that. He was like, “Pfffft! Who does she think she is, telling me I can’t go hang out at that creepy jumping cyclops house? Imma do what I want!”

He hurls himself out of the window (headfirst, mind you), falls what appears to be several stories and lands inside of a giant egg. As you can already clearly tell, this game is 100% realistic.

 

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By this point, everything should have been A-okay with Gilbert. He should have been able to walk away concussion-free and without any broken bones—you know, thanks to that strategically positioned giant raw egg. However, Gilbert has one slight problem: He’s extremely allergic to eggs. So much for falling into all of that yolk.

Bet you’re regretting your fit of rebellion now, huh, Gilbert? That’ll teach you to take the stairs next time like normal people instead of busting through windows like Rambo.

Anyway, Gilbert basically barfs his way out of the egg and slides a good distance before coming to a stop.

 

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As he’s coming to, a huge cyborg chicken pops up out of nowhere. Naturally. And so the game begins. Gilbert has just puked his brains out and now you’re expected to help him run for his life.

Great.

 

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As you can see here, Gilbert is already bracing himself for the worst, looking concerned AF. I honestly can’t say that I blame him. I mean, I had no clue what to do at this point. If I were a pixelated freckled kid with a killer chicken threatening to peck me to death, I wouldn’t trust me either.

But this random chicken attack is your tutorial, so you’ve got to get it together. Luckily, the game controls are as easy as it gets—I mean, short of doing nothing at all.

1.) Tap right to jump right. and 2.) Tap left to jump left.

Super easy, huh? No? Oh well, Gilbert. It was nice knowing you.

No wonder he looks freaked out.

Meanwhile, that platform he’s leaning on is just smiling away like it’s a normal everyday occurrence to see someone get run down by a cyborg chicken. #NotBothered. Sheesh. What kind of neighborhood is that guy from?

 


The Basics

 

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Levels

Once you’re done working your way through the first level, you’ll be dumped here on the main map. Level after level you’ll help Gilbert jump and retch his way to the party house. The main game itself has 3 themed worlds and offers a total of 15 levels.

When you’re done with those, there are extra levels to play:

Christmas

This level adds a bit of festive flair to Gilbert’s puke, making it look as though he ate an entire attic’s worth of Christmas decorations.

Hard-Boiled

These levels are a bit more irksome than those in the main game. I honestly think they were solely designed to make you scream aloud from frustration and throw your device from the nearest rooftop. That’s just my own little conspiracy.

My favorite level in this area is called “Rage Quit”. Although I never quit while playing it, I would prefer not to repeat the things I’ve said while trying to beat the level. Let’s just say that it’s challenging in the most annoyingly fun way possible.

Midnight Snack Pack

There’s also an add-on pack that you can buy separately, which has 15 more levels. Will I be getting it? Probably so. This game is weirdly (and grossly) addicting, so I’d love to see what fun things these levels contain.

 

 

Goals

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The main goal of the game is to get Gilbert through each level, earning all 3 possible stars for each one:

  • Star #1: Earned for completing the level
  • Star #2: Earned for collecting all 3 golden eggs in a level
  • Star #3: Earned for collecting at least 50 golden nuggets in a level

 

The game is timed as well, so you can strive to beat your own best time or try to climb the leaderboards. Collecting the required eggs and nuggets prevents you from getting a time penalty.

 

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The Finish Line

At the end of every level, there is a finish line that looks like this. Confetti and balloons will greet you as Gilbert celebrates. If you are jumping around in a level and see a trail of balloons floating around, you’ll know that you’ve almost reached the end.

 

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Golden Nuggets

These are golden nuggets: cute little smiling gems that are pretty plentiful throughout the levels. Collecting 50 isn’t too hard—usually.

I love how Gilbert isn’t grimacing like he was while that killer chicken was still on the loose. He must have learned that if I get him killed, he’ll actually come back good as new. Mostly.

 

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Golden Eggs

This is a golden egg. Each level claims to have 3 of these hiding somewhere among the platforms and deathtraps. These are really easy to find in early levels, but they can be slightly tricky to locate or reach as the game progresses.

 


Gameplay

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For the most part, you’re going to be jumping from platform to platform, often using walls (and chickens) to bounce off of. Naturally, Gilbert will be hurling projectiles from his mouth with every jump, making quite a mess.

There are also buttons to push and doors to open—Gilbert is a real busy guy. Hopefully, you can keep up with him. He is always on the run. No, really. He never, ever stops running. Keeping him under control is another one of your responsibilities. Lucky you.

 

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In addition to bouncy blobs, there is an occasional winged apparatus or cloud to give you a helping hand and take you places.

 

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Gilbert can even enjoy his very own pool of vomit. Something tells me that he won’t have to worry about kids splashing or anyone taking all of the pool towels… Just a random guess.

 

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A lot of the platforms move and rotate. Others have saws running across them. Some move, rotate and have saws. This means that your timing needs to be right on point if you ever plan to get Gilbert to that party. Missing your footing can land you in the line of enemy fire or falling down an unending chasm, but I’ll talk more about that later.

 

 

Special & Hidden Areas

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As though jumping off of walls and upchucking everywhere wasn’t enough of a blast, there are a few hidden areas you can find throughout the levels. There are chicken nests and weird pink creatures’ mouths that you can jump into in order to access hidden areas full of golden nuggets and other useful things.

There are also a few invisible trigger spots that you can touch to reveal otherwise invisible platforms or items.

 

 

Checkpoints

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This is a checkpoint—a little stick that spits out confetti and blows a party horn when you pass by it. And trust me, as you advance through harder levels, this is going to be a well-earned, greatly appreciated celebration.

 

 

Dying

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Okay, so Gilbert can’t formally die. I actually think his reaction to enemy attacks and falls is much more disturbing than the typical video game demise.

 

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Gilbert-on-chicken contact, accidental falls, saw blades to the face and egg swallowing are all ways that Gilbert can be sent back to the previously passed checkpoint of a level. Instead of dying, he swells up, turns pink and explodes in a haze of vomit. Sometimes it’s green, sometimes yellow or pink…but it’s always vomit. Ugh.

I guess he’s never heard of EpiPen. He should really see someone about that.

 

Enemies

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You didn’t expect to just fly through the levels without any opposition, did you? There are enemies and obstacles “conveniently” placed throughout each level to ensure you get to see Gilbert toss his cookies (as though you haven’t seen enough). One such enemy is this lovely mechanical chicken…thing. You see, it likes to shoot eggs at Gilbert out of it’s…

Well, I’m not too sure. Let’s just say “out of itself”. At any rate, watch out for flying eggs.

 

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There are also mini-boss fights. Remember Aunt Doris? She’s baaaack.

 

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I actually really enjoy the showdowns included in this game. They’re fairly easy and kind of a comedic break from the usual: Jump, jump, barf. Jump, jump, jump, fall.

It seems like Gilbert is enjoying himself as well—perhaps too much. This isn’t an audition for the lead role in The Nutcracker. Or…maybe it is. I guess that really just depends, doesn’t it? 😀

 

 

“Special” Puke

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This just sounds wrong. I mean, how special can puke really be? Gilbert somehow manages it though. Depending on what giant egg he jumps into, his hair color changes and he’s granted a new color of puke—complete with a special “puke power”.

 

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Pink-haired Gilbert can stick to platforms and walls like a really disgusting version of Spiderman.

 

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Yellow-haired Gilbert turns into a puke-powered rocket for a short (sometimes too short) duration of time. It can often be a struggle to control him when he’s in this mode, but the yellow cowlick sure does beat his usual comb-over, don’t you think?

 


 

What else can I say? I love this game. This is easily one of the most unique and addicting platform runners I’ve ever played.  The zany characters and wacky animation style make it a visually stimulating and comedic play. Not too easy, but not impossibly difficult, I think this is a good game for all ages and skill levels (if you can ignore the slightly immature subject matter). It’s definitely not the slowest paced game in the world, but it’s excellent if you want to work on your hand eye coordination.

With some diligence, you can get through all of the normally included levels in just a few hours. There is definite replay value too, which is always great. It can sometimes be hard to get all of your stars for a level on the first go, so it’s possible that you’ll have to redo it over and over… and over again. Also, you may want to beat your prior best times. Fortunately, the game is really fun, so I doubt you’d mind.

Though Eggggg was available for free this week (through the App Store), I totally would have paid for it. Rumor has it that the game will be coming to Steam at some point, so that’s a plus for any PC gamers out there. I think this would be hilarious as a multi-player, but it’s already a fun single player.

If you guys know of any other games worth checking out, feel free to share them with me. I’m hoping to do more game overviews in the future (on Steam and/or PS4), so stay tuned for those. ‘Til next time, golden guys and dolls! ❤

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