This Is My Brain On Four Hours Of (Disturbed) Sleep


When it comes to daily posting, it is only day two and I’m already failing miserably. Sure, I forced myself to sit here and type, but what I really want to do is burrow under my covers and watch The Rifleman until I fall asleep…until the end of days. Needless to say, I got next to no sleep last night. Isn’t that always the case with me though? I’ve spent the last few hours with my eyes practically rolling in the back of my head as I’ve attempted to get some work done and block out the sound of hail pelting my windows. WTF kind of summer is it to have seemingly endless storms? This is probably the wettest summer I have ever had the displeasure of living through. Why can’t the weather here just be normal? What is “normal” though? By now, I’ve surely forgotten.

Barbie head-sized hail balls aside, today was a good day. I almost said, “All Fridays are good days.”

However, that would have been slightly ignorant and extremely irrelevant. Today is Thursday. Get it together, girl. I would blame it on being exhausted, but that’s hardly an excuse. If I’m completely honest, my days tend to seamlessly blend into each other. I rarely notice what day it is anymore. It just feels like a perpetual cycle of light and dark with no discernible beginning or end. I get up, I work on things, I pretend to sleep and then I get up again.

Now that I’ve been properly schooled on what day it is, let me continue on with what I was saying. I was in extremely high spirits today. This is not to say that I am usually shuffling around like a mopey so-so on a regular basis, but I do tend to find most days to simply be “fine”.




Similarly, my mood tends to mimic my respective day.




I guess that is how it is when you are diligently working on a set of long-term goals without a break in between—it is only going to be so exciting. I have as much fun as I possibly can whenever I can, but it’s still just work. Wee.



Let’s Be Shower Buddies!

Earlier today, I was told about a situation that was recently in the news. Apparently, a deranged man in New Jersey broke into a young woman’s house while she was in the shower. He then decided that it would be a good idea to disrobe and get into the shower as well. Umm…what? The poor girl had to flee the shower in a towel and call the police. When the cops arrived at her home, the man was standing in her kitchen as he washed her dishes…stark naked. Thankfully, the girl and her younger sister were unharmed.

As frightened as this girl probably was, I seriously had to just laugh. All I could think about is what I would have done if I’d been in her same shoes. It totally reminds me of what I was saying about showers just last week (in my Until Dead review). Showers are a creepy place to imagine yourself being when some random intruder invites themselves into your home. I mean, what would you do if some strange fellow popped his head around your shower curtain and asked you to kindly pass the soap? Yeahhh…no. I think I would have calmly exited the shower, searched for the nearest throwable object and attacked him…LOL. That sounds about right.

What a weird thing for the guy to do though…wash her dishes. I mean, what was he trying to do exactly? Had he previously eaten a snack and decided to clean up after himself? Was he trying to thank the girl for sharing her loofa with him? It makes me think that I would have waited for him to finish cleaning the dishes before ushering him back to the bathroom so he could scrub the toilet as well. I mean, if he only wanted to clean himself and clean my house, go for it, buddy. Let’s put your clothes back on though. Gross.




Would You Date…Yourself?

I was wandering around the house this morning in a desperate attempt to get myself going for the day when an interesting thought popped into my head: Would I date a male carbon copy of myself if such a thing were possible? I had never considered such a scenario before, but found it deeply intriguing. I later asked my mom if she would date herself if given the opportunity. She quickly responded, “Heck no.” Well then! That’s that. As she saw it, she wouldn’t want to be with someone exactly like herself, which I thought was a perfectly fair and reasonable answer.

If I had to guess, I think many people would respond the same way. It is very unusual to find someone who would like to be partners with someone who is exactly like them in every way…not that it would be possible anyhow. As similar as two people might be, there are always going to be slight differences. Perhaps this is why I thought the idea of actually being able to date oneself was so fascinating. What if it were possible? What if there was a way to essentially date myself? With gender/physical appearance aside and all personality traits constant, would I even be interested?

It took me all of two minutes to decide that I absolutely would date a copy of myself. I have no idea how long the affair would last, but I would most certainly try it out. Most people would be afraid to date someone exactly like themselves due to not wanting to become bored of them. Overall, I think I would be in a unique position because I am never the same. I am constantly changing, evolving, growing and flipping the script. It would be virtually impossible to become bored of myself, but I could see myself being exhausted by the constant change. Though I clearly love adventure and regular excitement for myself, I certainly wouldn’t want my partner to constantly jump from one wild scheme to another the way I usually do. I would honestly have to tell them to find somewhere and sit down. This would be the most annoying issue.

However, there are many things about me that I truly wish I could find in another person. Despite all of my crazy ideas and impulsive leanings, I would be absolutely enamored with a person whose capacity to “dream big” rivaled my own. It would be so enriching to come across a fellow walking encyclopedia with a wide range of eclectic interests and hobbies. Our conversations and debates would probably be endless and entertaining beyond my wildest imaginations. I like a little mysterious wit and complexity, so dating my carbon copy would satiate my curious and analytical nature—they would be one big unsolvable puzzle. We’d always find time to travel, explore the world we live in and absorb every single tidbit of knowledge available to us. We’d also spend a considerable amount of time playfully accusing each other of “cheating” when one of us shoots the other dead in a video game…that’s a given.

Darn. Now I totally wish there was such a person…if only for a day. Maybe they’d be nice and pick up an ice cream sundae for me.

Who am I kidding? They’d be just as uninterested in going out right now as I am. Crap. Nevermind. Awful idea! Who the heck thought it would ever be a good idea to date themselves? Pfft! Fool.

Really Random Fact About Me #1: I am deathly afraid of spiders. Full. Blown. Arachnophobia.