Happy Sunday, guys. What are you up to today? Sleeping in? Going to church? Dreading work tomorrow? Meeting people for lunch? Nursing the hangover you swore you wouldn’t encourage? I am still in the process of deciding what I’d like to spend the rest of this overcast day doing, but I can tell you what I’ve done up to this point. It’s a few minutes after one and I have tidied up some clutter, grumbled to myself about the clutter that I wasn’t able to remedy, studied some German and brainstormed.
I finally went out for that brownie sundae I’ve been craving too. Who needs a proper lunch when you’ve got a sundae…on Sunday? It had cappuccino soft serve, whipped cream and a cherry. It was epic. It was probably 2,362,813.04 calories, so…salad for dinner it is.
Earlier this morning, I sat down at the computer for awhile to do some work. As is customary, I got distracted doing other things. Curse you, Internet! After frittering away an hour of my life looking at emails and sales ads (farewell, Nordstrom Anniversary Sale), I realized that I hadn’t seen Miss Cami in awhile. The last I had seen of her, she was screaming bloody murder for some treats. Being entirely too early at the time, I shushed her, which didn’t please her at all. She skulked away and that was that. Well, I decided to make up with my little doll and went off to find her.
Her favorite lounging spot is right next to the patio door. She likes to look out into the yard in search of various wildlife, so that’s really the best vantage point. So there I was, humming to myself as I innocently made my way across the house. I casually looked out of the living room windows to see what there was to see today. After all, there’s always something—a cardinal, a bluejay, a bunny or maybe a chipmunk. Something green caught my eye, so I stopped in my tracks. “Hmm,” I thought. “What is that leaf doing stuck to the window like that? How peculiar.” I decided to get closer and investigate.
Big mistake. With every step I took, I came to see that it wasn’t a leaf at all. It was…something, but it wasn’t a leaf. It was alive…with antennae.
Do you see that thing? What is that? At first, I thought it was a grasshopper, but it’s clearly not. It is a fraud that apparently likes to run around posing as a leaf, scaring people who are simply trying to enjoy a quiet, bug-free Sunday morning. This is hardly what I had been looking for, but I decided to grab my camera and take some pictures of the thing anyhow. Then, I decided to share it with you guys. How thoughtful of me, huh?
Ugh. Note to self: Never live in the countryside again. Why does everything have to be oversized out here? The spiders aren’t just spiders, but super spiders. The mosquitos are like military drones. It’d be bad enough to have centipedes, but nooooo…I have to have millipedes—and more legs. The ants are so large that they look capable of carrying me away. It’s like living in a Fallout game, only you can’t turn the console off and forget about that giant Radscorpion you just saw.
After the miniature gag-worthy “photoshoot”, I resumed my search for Cami. Sure enough, I found her sitting beside the patio door, completely unaware of the green horror I had just discovered. She was definitely a welcome site in comparison to our fraudulent friend, so I took her photo too. Surprisingly, she didn’t move. She is honestly the worst model ever. As positively darling as I think she is, photographing her is nearly impossible. I try to get photos of her all of the time, but the bulk of them come out awful because she insists on rolling, yawning, scratching or running off right in the middle of a shot. It is sort of like those photos of “Bigfoot” that get published in those trash tabloid magazines where you only see a heavily blurred out hairy leg poking out of a sea of trees.
A recent hobby of mine is taking my camera out on Sundays in search of weird things to snap photos of, so maybe I will continue to do more of these “look what I found” posts. Sometimes I find something interesting, sometimes I don’t. Today the “something” found me. I kind of wish it hadn’t.